As always, at Godblessed City Northern Gate, Li Huailin and ScarletDrink were hiding in the bush. Three groups of people had already passed by Li Huailin, but he didn’t immediately jump out to rob them this time.
Li Huailin finally understood that just robbing anyone in sights was useless. His attack now was too terrifying, to the point where even he himself was scared. If he really just robbed any Tom, Dick, or Harry that passed by, he will just get more people who will get on their knees and call him ‘Boss’. Like this, not only would he not die, his boast about being the best robber in the world will become a reality…
Thus, he decided. That he will rob only tough customers; those who you can tell was very strong at first glance, and had the ‘I will rather die than submit to evil’ look. Attack first to get grey status, tough customer gets enraged, tough customer strikes back, die, 20% EXP get! Perfect!
With this in mind, Li Huailin used his (self-invented) special skill! Certain Death Skill Series: How to do robbery wrong 101 – First Art – Rob a person you know you cannot rob no matter what! Obviously, the ‘certain death’ meant him dying (lol).
“Brother-in-law, why are we not robbing them?” Seeing the people passing by, ScarletDrink couldn’t resist asking such a question. After all, she had just gone through great difficulties memorising the template of robbers, and couldn’t wait to put it into use!
“Stupid,” Li Huailin looked at her from the corner of his eyes, “I’m teaching you how to choose the correct robbery target now.” ‘The target that will kill you, that is’ was the part Li Huailin omitted.
“The correct robbery target?” ScarletDrink asked, with a tone that sounded as if she understood something, yet didn’t understand everything.
“You see, if we rob someone, the person we rob at least have to be rich, right?” Li Huailin said ‘seriously’.
“En!” ScarletDrink nodded her head.
“Then see the poor people who just passed by us just now, all they have on them is 1-2 uncommon equipment. What’s the point of robbing them? In the end, we will just get 30 silvers like the last time. Won’t that damage my reputation of ‘King of Robbers’?” Li Huailin systematically and skillfully guided ScarletDrink towards the path of being a horrible robber with persuasive words.
“You’re right, brother-in-law!” ScarletDrink, deceived by Li Huailin’s words, thought to herself that she was indeed still a newbie, her thinking was not as developed as Li Huailin!
“So, this time, we have to choose a big fish…” Li Huailin waved his hands tyrannically, “…and do a big one.”
“Okay!” ScarletDrink shouted with bubbling excitement.
Li Huailin was indeed quite lucky(?) today, and after waiting for a while, a ‘big fish’ really appeared. From the Northern Gate, a twenty odd years old youth walked out. He had pretty and delicate features, with handsomeness even Li Huailin was jealous of. His equipment were even more shocking, with a full set of light armour that glowed green, indicating that it was uncommon. What’s more, the two one-handed sword by his waist had a blue glow, showing that both his weapon were rare!
“That’s the one!” Li Huailin pointed at the ‘big fish’ and signalled ScarletDrink.
“Let me!” ScarletDrink couldn’t restrain herself anymore and jumped out of the bush, shouting, “This road was paved by me, these grass-”
“Demacia!!!” Li Huailin suddenly jumped out of the bush and interrupted ScarletDrink’s speech. (T/N: Reference to Xin Zhao, one of the Bush Brothers of LoL!)
“Brother-in-law, what does ‘Demacia!!!’ mean?” ScarletDrink tilted her head and asked.
“This is the special warcry of robbers. If we are robbing normal targets, we can say whatever we want, but, if we are robbing special targets like this guy, we have to shout more awe-inspiring warcries!” Li Huailin bullshitted his way through.
“Oh, I see!” ScarletDrink nodded her head while thinking deeply about Li Huailin’s words. She then faced the youth and shouted loudly, “De-Demacia!!!”
“What are you guys doing?” The youth frowned and asked with a cold voice.
“We are here to rob you!” Li Huailin pressed his fist with his palm, making ‘crack’ sounds.
“Right, we are here to rob you!” ScarletDrink also tried to follow Li Huailin and crack her fist, but couldn’t make the ‘crack’ sound no matter what. Thus, she softly said, “Brother-in-law, I can’t make the sound…”
“Be more serious, do you want to learn the art of robbery from me?” Li Huailin softly replied while turning his head slightly towards her.
“Fine, I won’t say anymore…” ScarletDrink started pouting.
Li Huailin proceeded to threaten the youth after dealing with ScarletDrink.
“If you are smart, then quickly give me the money. If not, I only know how to kill, and have no idea how to cremate people. Do think more for your corpse, yeah? Wouldn’t want it to be desecrated by animals.”
“Robbery?” The youth looked at Li Huailin with strange eyes, then looked at at ScarletDrink, “Just you two? Rob me?”
“Right, anything wrong?” Li Huailin replied with a vicious tone.
“Brother-in-law, I think I know him!” ScarletDrink scrutinised the youth, before suddenly exclaiming.
“Huh? You know him? Is he your friend?”
“No, but I think I’ve seen his picture before. I heard he was one of the top 10 players, FlowingWind…” ScarletDrink said while trying to recall the youth’s information, “… he’s said to be a super-duper strong person, and one of the strongest players even among Huaxia’s S-rank group.”
“Super-duper strong…” Li Huailin completely ignored the guy’s name, and only got excited when the words ‘super-duper-strong’ were mentioned. “Strong is good! Strong can kill me faster!” Li Huailin was so excited even his thoughts were like a caveman’s already.
“Since you’ve heard of me before, scram.” FlowingWind waved his hands to dismiss Li Huailin and ScarletDrink, before starting to walk off.
“Even if you are one of the top 10, you still have to give me money! Do you think I won’t rob you just because you are niubi?” Li Huailin hurriedly provoked FlowingWind. He must not let this ‘big fish’ of ‘big fish’ run away!
“R-Right!” ScarletDrink at the side said without much confidence.
“Hmm?” FlowingWind was truly intrigued by Li Huailin’s action. Due to his fame, he had been challenged to a duel many times before, but this was the first time he was being robbed. “The two of you really want to rob me?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Li Huailin replied calmly.
“Okay,” FlowingWind nodded his head, “I have 14 gold coins on me. If you guys can defeat me, you can take all of it.”
“Hoh? So you mean to say that we have a fight?” Li Huailin was overjoyed. Finally, a person who dares to fight him! Finally, he can die!
“It’s just 2 vs 1, I’m not afraid.” FlowingWind had a lot of experience fighting groups of people alone, so he obviously wasn’t worried about fighting two alone.
“Err…” Li Huailin looked at ScarletDrink who was behind him. Though this girl was constantly bringing him trouble, but she did it unintentionally. It wouldn’t be good to drag her along to die…
“No, I will fight you one on one instead.”
“Huh…?” FlowingWind looked at Li Huailin’s beginner set, “You really want to duel me?”
“Huh? Brother-in-law, I can fight too!” ScarletDrink was completely clueless about FlowingWind’s capabilities, only hearing about it. Thus, she expressed dissatisfaction towards Li Huailin leaving her out of something so fun!
“Do you still want to learn?” Li Huailin turned his head around, “If you want to, then look at my demonstration.”
“Okay…” ScarletDrink nodded her head with dissatisfaction.
After settling ScarletDrink, Li Huailin looked at FlowingWind again and said, “Right, I will duel you. However, I have a condition. Can you let me attack you first?”
“Hmm?” FlowingWind was confused.
“I want to attack you first. You see, if you attack me first, won’t you become a red player?” Li Huailin wanted to be the aggressor, it was 20% EXP after all!
“Haha, suddenly, I think you are interesting!” FlowingWind drew out the two swords by his waist and got into a stance, “Come!”
“Okay!!!” Li Huailin thought to himself, “This time for sure, it will be a success, right? I’ve already thought about all possible scenarios! If I don’t die this time, then it will be as unreasonable as E=mc^3!” While encouraging himself, Li Huailin stabbed FlowingWind.
FlowingWind who originally had a composed face immediately changed after seeing this number, and did a X-cross attack on Li Huailin before retreating in a hurry.
Seeing the two numbers on Li Huailin head, FlowingWind’s expression got even more serious.
“Come, come!” Li Huailin didn’t plan on attacking again after the first one. He attacked only because he wanted the aggressor status. After getting it, all he wanted to do was wait for death.
FlowingWind frowned, and slashed at Li Huailin again. With skillful use of both his hands, a beautiful combo landed on Li Huailin’s body.
“Good!” Li Huailin shouted happily. This guy was being so cooperative!
“Why are you not attacking?” FlowingWind suddenly stopped and asked while looking into Li Huailin’s eyes.
“Hmm?” Li Huailin was startled, but after thinking about it, he was currently ‘dueling’ with FlowingWind! If he doesn’t attack, it will indeed seem weird. Thus, after thinking for a while about what to, Li Huailin suddenly shouted, “I want to slash your left hand!”
And he slashed at FlowingWind’s left hand.
FlowingHand casually tilted his body, and easily dodged Li Huailin’s attack while attacking Li Huailin at the same time.
“I want to slash your right leg!” Li Huailin shouted loudly again, and slashed towards FlowingWind’s right leg.
“Wait!” FlowingWind suddenly extended his hands and stopped Li Huailin. “What are you doing? Can you not shout where you are going to attack before you attack?”
“What? How I like to fight is my business! Why do you have so much nonsense to say?” Li Huailin asked moodily.
FlowingWind’s face suddenly darkened, “Why do I feel like you are letting me win…?”
“Urk…! Who said that? Can’t you see I am giving my utmost effort? It’s just that you are too agile and I can’t hit you no matter what!” Li Huailin said while sweating profusely.
“If you don’t get serious, then I will leave.” FlowingWind was truly angry this time. He could accept getting defeated, but to have victory handed to him purposely was an insult!
“Damnit, why do you have so many conditions? Fine, fine, I’m getting serious. See, I’m getting serious!” Li Huailin wiped the sweat on his head. Professionals were so hard to trick! If only a professional with the intelligence of ScarletDrink would come…
FlowingWind launched an attach at Li Huailin once more with a black face.
“Just one more knife… if it isn’t a critical, it should be fine… right?” Li Huailin silently calculated in his head. The opponent’s armour is so good, so he must have a lot of HP. It will be fine!
Thinking like this, Li Huailin’s eyes flashed momentarily, and the blade in his hands flew forward. Before FlowingWind’s attack could reach him, his blade had already lodged itself into FlowingWind’s body.
“Good!” Li Huailin was elated as he didn’t get a critical, and FlowingWind didn’t die too! This was literally the best outcome!
Late again, why are my Wednesdays so hectic… T.T
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Why do I have the feeling you are letting me win?
Oh brother, you couldn’t be any more right. ^^
Wow no comments? Thanks for the chapter! Nothing ever goes brother niubi’s way, and it’s amazing, I actually thought that was going to be the quest guy he wasn’t looking for
ahahaha 😀 another amusing chapter IoI ahahahah 😀
thx for the chapter ^^
I just read all of the chapters and I gotta say this is the funniest novel I have read in a while! thanks for the chapter and keep on translating!!! ^_^
The Demacia reference was for Garen, not Xin Zhao.