Everyone Else is a Returnee – Chapter 1: I Live Alone – 1

After sleeping as much as he needed, when he woke up and came to the kitchen, a meal (breakfast by feeling) prepared by the angel was producing steam on the table.
The angel herself wasn’t there, but he wasn’t surprised since she said that meeting her at all was a strange thing in itself and there won’t be many times to meet her in the future.

“It’s delicious.”

Now that he became alone, he was touched at something very trivial. Moreover, it wasn’t empty words when he said it was delicious. He felt sorry but it was definitely more delicious than his mother’s food. The meal was nutritiously balanced and at the same time tasty, so it was a perfect meal.

“And if she earns a lot of money, then she’ll be number one wife material.”

Who married angels? Other angels, as expected, right? – While thinking trivial things like that, he was about to wash the dishes, when the dishes disappeared silently. It seemed that washing dishes was a service.
Yu IlHan washed up and clothed himself while feeling as if he was seduced by the angel, and when he was about to wear his socks to go to college, he remembered that there was nothing he could do there and stopped.

“Well, then.”

What to do now.

The answer revealed itself soon. Didn’t the angel say to train his body? Although the cells would not age, they were still active, so if he trained, the result will be reflected on his body.

He honestly didn’t like moving his body. He had no athletic ability, and he had no good memories in regards to things related to sports.
In his middle school athletic meet relay, the baton slipped from his hands and the baton ended up touching the PE teacher’s wig rather than the next player. – There was one such good…. good memory!

However, to use that as an excuse like a little child and avoid training, the situation was too serious.

Won’t monsters appear in just 10 years? I can’t practice mana like the rest of humanity so I need to do whatever I can do to raise my strength.

‘Going to the gym, eh…’

After deciding, Yu IlHan stood up and sighed. He decided to train his body, so it was now time to research materials on how to efficiently train.

After investing half a day to look up how to train the muscles, whisking away the lunch(by feeling) on the table, he left. The district gym was open as if it was obvious, and numerous workout machines greeted Yu IlHan.

“Fuu.”

Yu IlHan, who now slightly, just slightly, had motivation sighed and approached the bike which would burn his body fat.
It was the beginning of Yu IlHan’s body modification.

Yu IlHan went to the gym without complaining at all.
For 3 years.

[Are you really a modern person? How can you do the same thing everyday for 3 years?]

It was to the point that the angel showed up and asked him.

“But I need to do it, though.”
[You do.]
“That’s why I’m doing it. It’s not much different from studying for 3 years in high school.”
[……]

The angel looked at Yu IlHan as if looking at a monster.
As the angel said, he didn’t age, but Yu IlHan’s body, after consuming sufficient nutrition and doing exercises too much, was developed to the point that he looked like a health trainer that appeared on TVs. Well, it was quite obvious since he didn’t study at all and trained all day.

[You aren’t an ordinary person. Although, I knew that when you had the concealment technique which could hide you from God’s sight.]
“Don’t make it my fault!”

And he went to the gym for 2 more years. The period of time the angel promised him was 10 years so he had 5 years left now. At this point, he was sick and tired of going to the gym every day.

“I have to learn some martial arts and some weaponry right?”
[There’s no one to teach you though?]

Although she said that there won’t be many meeting in the future, she showed herself quite frequently and perhaps she got used to Yu IlHan but she was not polite with him anymore. If one didn’t consider the feathery wings on her back, then she was just a beautiful big sister, so he didn’t feel bad at all about her attitude

“I don’t know why, but internet and electricity is still working so I will study by myself by looking at some videos on y*utube or something.”
[Well, time stopped after all.]
“You’re keep going to using that excuse right?”
[Yup.]

Yu IlHan stopped staring at the angel and heaved out a sigh.

“If you recommend me one, then what would it be?”
[Vale Tudo and spearmanship. Well, I don’t think there will be much records about training in the spear so, train the basics until you die.]
“I said one!”
[Isn’t there 5 years? Just get the basics down for both.]

And what? Vale Tudo was a systematic martial art in the first place?! Yu IlHan, who was about to complain to the angel, changed his mind when he saw her serious face.
It wasn’t like she was teasing him. She advised him with the martial arts that would actually help when the earth experienced the Great Cataclysm.

Then he had no choice. If it was the angel’s recommendation, he had to follow. Yu IlHan muttered to himself in his heart and woke his body up.
The light body movements. His changed body made him feel the time.

At first, he was really sad and lonely, but when he lived for a while, he now got used to it. Isn’t human adaptation ability amazing?
Eating and sleeping was solved and there was something he had to do every day. Moreover, there was an angel that chatted with him from time to time. Other than the moments he thought of his mother, and became sad, it was doable.

‘I need to endure for 5 years. Just 5 years. Let’s endure until then.’

With that thought, Yu IlHan sat his grown body in front of the computer. He thought that Vale Tudo and spearmanship were difficult to learn just from the internet, but he had 5 years. He just thought that it was possible for him to do it if it was just getting the basics down.

The first 2 years were a continuation of trial and error. He did train his body but to Yu IlHan, who hadn’t fought with other people before, Vale Tudo was like a girlfriend to him. It only existed inside monitors.

In contrast, there was some progress in spearmanship. Yu IlHan, who didn’t know the ‘m’ of martial arts, used a long wooden stick instead of a spear to repeat motions of stabbing, swinging and blocking. But when it became 1 year and 2 years, his spear had some weight. Yu IlHan gained some enlightenment.

‘Martial arts in the end is the same as studying.’

Even something undoable would become doable when repeated a lot. That belief led him higher. It was the same for studying, training his body, and now, it was the same for spearmanship.

Then wouldn’t Vale Tudo be the same? Yu IlHan, who barely succeeded grabbing the edge of martial arts, started looking for books and videos more enthusiastically and got more absorbed in training Vale Tudo and spearmanship.

When he decided that he would do it, there was some progress. In the first place, Vale Tudo was basically a practical fighting technique to kill the enemy without any rules whatsoever. While researching into other martial arts books and videos, and putting effort to learn it with his body, Yu IlHan slowly, very slowly, felt like he had grabbed something.

Spearmanship too – He started considering the body movement that rather than just stabbing and swinging.
Pre-attack movement, post-attack movement. Movement to enhance attack power. His steps improved, and his spear phases developed and his eye direction developed. It was a positive change that occurred while learning Vale Tudo.

Yu IlHan’s muscles, which developed unilaterally, developed in a more battle-oriented way due to the martial arts training. It was to the point that when 8 years passed since he was left out, the angel was shocked after seeing him.

[You didn’t eat some strange drug right?]
“What are you taking my efforts as?!”
[Such a surprising human. Or are all humans like this?]
“Leave me alone.”

The problem Yu IlHan had was that he had no opponents. He had to fight with others to know how much his techniques worked, what was wrong, and what should be fixed. How much longer does he have to practice on sandbags and beanbags?

On the 9th year of being left out and 4th year of training martial art, Yu IlHan thought that. It was something he could think of since he was more and more confident in his techniques. Fighting with others – If it was the him from 9 years ago, he would be scared senseless and run away. Or call the police.

[You know?]

With those words, the angel pointed to herself. Yu IlHan asked in doubt

“You want me to hit you? Angel-noona?”
[Even though I might look like this, I’m an envoy of God and a higher existence. So I’m unimaginably stronger than you think.]
“You know what Vale Tudo is, right?”

Vale Tudo was literally merciless practical combat. It was a combat technique that made one wonder if it was not about incapacitating the opponent but killing the opponent. Of course, he was only on his 4th year, but Yu IlHan knew how lethal of an effect it would have if he used it on humans.

[Fuu. It was me who told you to practice that. Don’t worry and come at me.]
“Is it really okay? You won’t say otherwise later right?”
[Of course.]

The angel smacked her uselessly large chests and assured him. Yu IlHan looked at her and after resolutely deciding his heart, he went at the angel with wide eyes.

“Eat my fist containing the resentment of 9 year of isolation! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!”
[Fuu.]

And he got beaten up miserably. The angel was a Vale Tudo star.

[You know now? You can consider me a fighting opponent as you want. It’s the biggest service since the birth of angels!]
“No…….!”

After getting beaten up and getting bruises all over his body, Yu IlHan rejected with all his might, but unfortunately he didn’t have the rights to refuse. It was because the angel truly wanted to help him survive after the Great Cataclysm after seeing him train seriously for 9 years.
From Yu IlHan’s view, it wasn’t very welcome, but even if he wanted to run away, he couldn’t run away from that angel.

Fighting with the angel made his techniques truly rise rapidly. He didn’t want to admit it, but his growth was too distinct. I want to stop feeling this pain and hit that woman no matter what it takes! – since this was his objective for moving his body.
The angel was proud and Yu IlHan was in pain. His techniques in Vale Tudo and spearmanship increased.

Until the promised 10 years came.

Yu IlHan took a shower, shaved himself, and looked at his figure on the mirror. His body was strong to the point that he would be able to fight with a wolf due to training his body for 10 years, but his face was still the college freshman from 10 years ago. so there was a strange disharmony.

“It would be good if I was a bit taller.”
[Wouldn’t you grow after the Great Cataclysm? Your face is a bit disappointing but your body figure is fine so if you grow a bit taller…… Hmhm. It might not be half bad.]
“What was that about my face!?”

He looked at the mirror. Eyes that were not big at all, loose eyebrows, nose that wasn’t high at all, slightly pale lips, and even more pale skin. Hmm. he couldn’t deny that he had a face that lacked vitality.
But this was his own face. A unique face in the world.

[You engraved that much techniques into your body, so you will be able to confront low class monsters without difficulty. If so, you will level up smoothly too. So you will be able to handle mana soon.]

The angel said. She was slightly disappointed as she was preparing for a farewell, but Yu IlHan asked back since there was something that he had a question about.

“How can I kill those monsters? I thought you said you can’t kill them without mana.”
[That’s about high class monsters made up entirely of a higher system of energy, low class monsters can be killed by guns or spears or knives easily, though?]
“You deceived me angeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllll!”
[Fufuu. I didn’t lie. You just didn’t ask for details!]

The angel proudly held out her chest and blabbed. This woman, was a naughty woman who boasted sexual appeal whenever she could – Even with a messy mind, Yu IlHan thought of these things.

His rage was boiling, but it calmed down after some time passed. In the end, it was a deceit for him to grow stronger. She put in effort to fill the gap of not being able to handle mana.
When he thought of it like that, he couldn’t get angry and instead, all the energy left his body.

“Ordinary college life would be impossible, right?”
[Of course. The majority of society will be paralyzed. And a period where fighting ability rather than academic ability will be needed will come.]
“Phew……”
[When a dropout appeared at first, I thought the skies were collapsing, but due to your effort, I didn’t have to worry much. You worked hard until now. You will do well in the future.]

The time came. It was the same time as 10 years ago. Of course, Yu IlHan himself couldn’t tell the time so the angel told him.
Yu IlHan purposely moved to the same place. The grassy plaza inside the college campus. It was a scene he hadn’t seen for 10 years but there was no difference.

“Thank you for everything until now, angel-noona.”
[Wow.]

It was the first time he said thank you. The angel also didn’t seem to think that she would receive thanks and was flustered for a bit, but in the end, she laughed and flapped her wings and came to his side.

[It was quite a fun 10 years thanks to you too.]
“Will I be able to see you again?”
[Well, that will depend on you.]

The angel spoke until there, and hesitated for a bit before adding another line.

[My name is Lita.]
“Lita.”

Yu IlHan kept muttering her name as if he didn’t want to forget it. The angel, Lita, watched such a figure in satisfaction before flapping her wings again.

[I have to go. Time on Earth will resume soon, and the people will come back.]
“Have a safe trip, Lita-noona.”

The two bid their farewells. Lita slowly flew up to the sky and Yu IlHan tried his best to suppress his disappointment due to the farewell with Lita, and the excitement of going back to his ordinary life from 10 years ago, and closed his eyes.

Nothing happened.

“……”

Yu IlHan opened his eyes. He could see Lita in panic in the air.

“……Care to explain?”

Yu IlHan said with a quiet voice. Lita slowly came down to the ground and laughed cutely with a ‘teehee’. And spoke.

[I think there was a mistake.]
“Hey you crazy XXXXXXXX!”
[Perhaps due to stopping the time or some other reason, there seems to be a slight deviation in the time axis. It’s alright. It won’t be much so if you endure 10 or 20 more years……]
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.”

It’s that f*cking time again! Yu IlHan went on a rampage while rolling on the grass square. It was because he knew that he would be beaten up if he went against the angel.
Like that, Yu IlHan, who calmed down after putting grass all over his body, muttered while looking at the resentful blue sky.

“Good. It’s just 10 or 20 years. I will wait no problem.”

Humans are animals of adaptation. He did well until now so he would do well in the future – The positive attitude, which was his only good trait about him, but became one of many now, persuaded himself.

However, even after 10 years and 20 years, humanity didn’t come back.
And when 50 years passed, Yu IlHan stopped counting time.


Author’s notes

In truth, Lita lives together.

Vale Tudo – A Brazilian martial arts. As the origin of mixed martial arts, it’s a battle without rules.

 

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About Chamber

Native Korean who studied in Britain for 5 years, currently living in Korea. 3rd year uni studying Computer Science and Engineering.

17 Replies to “Everyone Else is a Returnee – Chapter 1: I Live Alone – 1”

  1. DCVoidsWrath

    Oh my fucking god, I keep dying, this is hilarious

    10 years is up *Lita starts to float up majestically then falls back down* Oh shieeetttt
    What’s happening?
    Uhm, you may or may not have to wait 10 or 20 more years…
    SON OF A B-*Goes on a rant and starts destroying everything in his path*
    *50 years later*
    I don’t even care anymore, I don’t even care if I die a virgin

    Reply
  2. fantasyw0w

    The first 2 years were a continuation of trial and error. He did train his body but to Yu IlHan, who hadn’t fought with other people before, Vale Tudo was like a girlfriend to him. It only existed inside monitors.

    Savage

    Reply
  3. Seregosa

    [You aren’t an ordinary person. Although, I knew that when you had the concealment technique which could hide you from God’s sight.]
    “Don’t make it my fault!”

    Extremely amusing 😀 Maybe he could become a godly assassin?

    Reply
  4. GonZ

    Meatbun Delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    Well isn’t that nice a 50 year worth of time to spend with an angel wife~

    Reply
    1. John Robert Nevarez

      “Eat my fist containing the resentment of 9 year of isolation! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!”
      [Fuu.]

      And he got beaten up miserably. The angel was a Vale Tudo star.

      This is really hilarious ! I mean , there is a vibe that every time I read the chapters the smile on my face never ends , even at this time I’m writing my comment . Thanks for the Chapter ! Hope the Good vibes continues 😀 . that last part got me Lmao ..

      Yu IlHan opened his eyes. He could see Lita in panic in the air.

      “……Care to explain?”

      Yu IlHan said with a quiet voice. Lita slowly came down to the ground and laughed cutely with a ‘teehee’. And spoke.

      [I think there was a mistake.]
      “Hey you crazy XXXXXXXX!”
      [Perhaps due to stopping the time or some other reason, there seems to be a slight deviation in the time axis. It’s alright. It won’t be much so if you endure 10 or 20 more years……]
      “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.”

      Reply
  5. Iron Druid

    I hope that Angel isn’t someone who’s a big part of the story. Frankly, the author already has me annoyed by how predictable he’s being with Lita. If she turns out to be the main love interest I may just nope my way out of here :/

    Reply

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