Hero – Chapter 1: I Am Not a Hero

If you got summoned to another world, and thrown the title [Hero] and forced to fight for some random people you don’t even know, how would you feel? Well personally, I’d probably kill myself. Why? Simply because one, I no longer had any ties left to the world and two to see the looks on the faces of the fuckers that dragged me there.

Honestly, I find those novel protagonists brain-damaged good for nothings. Well, I guess that’s supported by how a good bit of them were human waste before they got dragged over. I mean, come on now, who the hell would laugh and say “yay” in that kind of situation? No friends. No family. No modern day comforts. No money. No home. No nothing, except of course the clothes on your back and whatever you have on hand. And worst of all, you suddenly had a couple hundred million lives on your shoulders.

Of course that’s all hypothetically speaking. By the way, my that’s was ‘that was’ not ‘that is’. Notice how it’s past tense? I had all the bullshit in the above paragraph thrown at me. That’s right, I am……. A victim of kidnapping and abduction or so I thought.

I am not a hero. I am an abductee who was dragged to some mysterious place against his will. I am not the saviour of the world. I am a kidnapee who just wants to go home. That is me. A black haired, brown eyed, lazy ass asian male that only wants to rest in peace.

The white haired old man in front of me, was the ringleader of this kidnapping syndicate. He had ash-grey eyes that made him seem like he’d seen any eternity go by as well as an imposing aura not suited to his age. His voice was deep and resonant and frankly? Annoying as all fucking hell. Made me wanna murder his ass. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by burly hulking men in silver coloured armor that shone like a flashbang.

“Hero! Welcome to our world. Please save it by defeating the demon lord!” The scrawny, sharp-nosed, grey-eyed bastard said.

To which I replied, “Hero? Who? Me?”

“Of course! You’re the one our goddess summoned to rescue us in this time of need! So please. Bring peace to the world by slaying the vile monster threatening it!” he answered.

“Very well! I shall save you!”…. Is that what you thought I’d say? Well sorry, it wasn’t. Instead, I cruelly crushed his hopes and dreams with a single word.


“Wh-wh-what do you mean why? You are the hero summoned by the goddess! It is your duty!” The old man panicked and stuttered out a reply. Ah what a joy it is to see that expression on his face.

“Says who? You? Now tell me, why should I do as you say? Look at it from my perspective. What has the demon lord done to me and what have you done to me? Let’s see…… Did the demon Lord harm me in any way shape or form? Nope. Did he do that to someone I cared about? Nope. Now what about you? You dragged me away from my home. From my family. From my friends. From my world. You arbitrarily pronounced me something I am not. You tell me to risk my life for no good reason. You tell me to kill a guy who has done nothing to me. So, why should I help you? Now while I may not be strong enough to slaughter you like the fucker you are, I can always kill myself and crush your people’s hope. So tell me honestly, why should I help you?”

Of course, that part about friends, family, home and world was complete bullshit. I was a true loner. One who kept everything from his feelings to his thoughts to his wishes all to himself. No one at all knew who I truly was. And because of keeping everything in, I ended up so mixed up inside that I didn’t know who I was anymore. So, I simply stopped asking myself that question.
No point pondering over a question you’ll never get an answer to.

The only people I felt close or attached to were my grandparents. I was literally only living for their sake. After all, they clearly loved me so they’re old hearts probably wouldn’t be able to take it if I offed myself. So naturally, I stopped giving a damn about carrying on with life when they passed away.

“B-b-b-because it’s your duty! The goddess decreed it!” he flusteredly replied. But to me, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

“Looks like you still don’t quite get my point. I don’t give two shits about your goddess. I don’t know who you are. I am not from this world, and frankly I couldn’t care less about it. So why should I save it for no reason at all? I mean it’s of no benefit to me if I save the world. And it’s also of no consequence to me if it gets destroyed. What’s the worse that can happen? I die? Well newsflash you severed all ties I have to life for me. In all honesty, I feel scared about this new environment and depressed at losing everything I had. I might just kill myself?” I said as I tried my best to give a sad expression that looked sarcastic. And while I did manage to look satirical, I utterly failed at even seeming sad.

“I see, if that’s the case, then guards! Bring the hero around the city and show him the people who will suffer if he refuses to accept his quest! Also, someone call my 15th daughter over here. I’ll have her engaged to him.” After saying that, he turned to face me and continued, “with my royal guards guiding you around the city, you should be well adapted by the end of the day. As for ties to this world, my daughter should suffice. Is that enough sir hero? Ah goodness me! I forgot about your depression issue. I shall have the royal alchemist brew a potion to make you forget your past. Oh right, that doesn’t alter emotions. I’ll have him brew one to make you feel happiness beyond belief as well. Also, I shall invite his holiness the pope to personally educate you on the power and grace that is our goddess. That should do it right? Sir hero” The fuckface gave me a snarky smirk.

I simply had nothing I could say. This fucking douchebag was better at sophistry than me. His fluster and panic earlier was clearly bullshit to lure me in… That goddamn son of a three legged bitch… Also, he was surrounded by shiny chiselled statues that could move and hit. What could I, someone that’s only ever trained in hand to hand combat do against people in solid armor? Get pummelled I guess. But that’s undesirable.

So, I decided to metaphorically stab him in the heart with a bastard sword. “I still don’t hear anything about benefits. Oh and don’t try to offer me the whole kingdom saying after I’ve married your daughter I’ll be heir to the throne or some bullcrap like that. While we’re on the topic of my engagement, I never agreed to it? Besides, I haven’t even seen her let alone met her. I don’t plan on walking into the graveyard of life with someone I don’t even like. For all I know, she isn’t my type in the least and I’ll hate her to the core just like how much I hate you.”

After saying that, I paused for a second to catch my breath and let him reply. Of course, I was gonna cut in as soon as he spoke and see if that threw him off his game.

“I assure you th-”

“Back to the topic of benefits, sorry were you about to say something?”

“Not at all, please continue.” He had no choice but to say that. After all, as sly as he is, he’d still have to back down in face of the title he himself gave me. Ah… status is glorious……

“Now as I was saying, I still don’t get any benefits I want. As for what I want in order to go on this suicidal quest, let’s start with the down payment yeah? I want the total net worth of your country’s treasury as well as all hidden assets. And if I make it back, I want ten times that amount or I’ll raze the continent to the ground in place of that demon lord.”

“Very well! It is only natural to properly compensate our saviour!” The twisted scumbag agreed ridiculously easily… There was definitely something very wrong here… Unfortunately, I didn’t have any other cards to pull, so I agreed.

“I’m glad you understand. Well then, let’s begin the tour.” After speaking, I walked out the door flanked by the guards in silver armor. On the way out, I heard something that almost made me vomit blood. Luckily I was good at keeping an expressionless face…

The old man whispered, “have the finance minister transfer everything to one of the corrupt nobles soon to be sent to death row,” to another old man wearing blue robes standing next to him.

Written By H0RR1BL3CPU

<< Previous Chapter | Index | Next Chapter >>

3 Replies to “Hero – Chapter 1: I Am Not a Hero”

  1. Javidom

    okay, i am impressed
    this one chapter made me laugh, think, laugh again, think some more, and then laugh again… great, please keep it coming

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.