Immortal Ascension Tower – Chapter 2: Goldy Your Grandfather!

The examination room was actually a huge floor of what seemed to be a castle: columns of marble stood every few steps and no light filtered from any window as there was none. Only a small crystal on the ceiling let out a bit of radiance. In one corner of the room, a hexagram glowed and let out a dazzling light.

Soon after that, the light disappeared and on the place where the hexagram previously was, the young 8 years old boy stood instead.

Cheng Hao threw the huge backpack on the ground. He was holding his stomach and his eyes were full of tears as if he were in great pain. Suddenly he threw his head back.

“Ahaha! What a fool!” Cheng Hao was literally ‘rolling on the floor laughing’ as he clutched in his right hand a belt pouch. On the belt pouch were several glittering runes and it was actually a Heaven&Earth Pouch, a Dimensional Pouch. It could store many objects within while completely removing the weight.

However, it could not hold within living creatures.

As soon as he saw that on Liu Biao’s body for the first time, Cheng Hao had already fabricated a plan to get it and it actually succeeded so easily.

“An Advanced Martial Cultivator, robbed by a child with no cultivation… Your ancestors must be so angry that they must have arisen from the grave just to slap themselves for having such an idiotic descendant!”

“Now, now… What do we have here?” As he looked inside the pouch his grin got even larger and larger and an expression of shock and pleasant surprise soon followed that; a fool like him actually had such a treasure on him! He put his hand in the pouch and took out a small blade, less than a foot long. It was transparent and had a lightly golden color.

It radiated an otherworldly light and, when Cheng Hao let go of the tiny crystal sword, instead of falling on the ground, it floated soundlessly, slightly moving up and down every few breaths.

As Cheng Hao saw that, he smiled and cut his finger, letting a drop of blood fall on top of it. A bright light suddenly flashed, and the sword grew to be three meters long.

The object was entirely made of a transparent crystal-like substance that was slowly growing a bit more opaque as the drop of blood flowed on the m glittery surface. Suddenly, Cheng Hao clenched his hand and the three meters sword actually seemed to melt and collapse on itself as it became a small marble that could be grasped within two fingers.

“Where could such a fool possibly have gotten a drop of blood with such a high cultivation??? Is that guy actually from some incomparably high-status family? Amazing! Could I have actually robbed the son of an emperor? Unless… he just stumbled into this single drop by chance and thought it was just a small sculpture or some random object, truly a fool. Don’t you think, Goldy?”

As he talked he let go of the marble which kept hovering there. Seeing that Cheng Hao nodded pleased and kept checking the content of the Dimensional Pouch.

“Goldy your grandfather! Cheng Hao, why did we come to such a place? This sect of theirs is so pitiful that it makes my heart bleed” suddenly a golden yellow snake-like creature crawled out of his only front pocket. He looked like a small dragon cub, about a third of an inch tall and a foot long, his body sinuous and covered in golden scales, he had five clawed paws and his head slightly resembled a snake.

The small snake also had a few short, pointy horns on the back of his head and red hair that went from the top of his head down his neck like a horse’s mane “By the way, while you might want to change your name in this life, don’t you dare do the same with mine! Goldy? What kind of name is that???”

“Sorry, but Goldy is so cuuute… I wonder why I didn’t think of that before I died…” Cheng Hao grinned and changed his ragged clothes with a long blue robe from Liu Biao’s Dimensional Pouch “You also need to remember that even though I grasp powerful methods, right now I am indeed in need of resources, so a low profile sect like this is exactly what I need.”

Hearing that the golden dragon-snake glared annoyed at the boy’s back as helped him move all his belongings into the magical pouch.

“Do not call me Little Gold either! When I was at my peak I was so big that a finger could crush mountains and create oceans! Call me by my real name!” The small beast seemed to pout and at that Cheng Hao couldn’t help but chuckle.

Seeing the glare of the snake though, Cheng Hao sighed and looked at it with a pained expression “Alright, I will call you by your true name, for this once… I don’t even know if I remember it correctly… Wasn’t it Blindlight Alldevouring Stormchallenger Thronebreaker Allknowing Rebellious Devourer Starextinguisher Notforgiving Amazing Killightning Ender-of-Kings? Jeez it’s such a pain and quite an ugly name, who in the world came up with it, it’s such a mess of titles… In short you are just B-A-S-T-A-R-D S-N-A-K-E, right?”

“AAAAAGH! Shut up, shut up! Don’t you dare joke around with my name! How do you even get Bastard Snake from my incredibly mighty name at all?”

Cheng Hao shrugged his shoulders “Learn the humans’ written language and you will see it’s quite the acronym, I still can’t help but wonder whether it was intentional or not… Anyways, it is not my fault your too lazy to learn how read and write in the human tongue… If I remember well, didn’t I catch you exactly because you were so lazy to hunt for food that you nearly died of starvation? A mighty king of the heavenly beasts dying of starvation, I laugh every time I think about it”

The small golden snake suddenly turned red from embarrassment and purple from fury “Y-you shut up! If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even have DREAMED of besieging the three Outer Heavens! I was the one that taught you and made you able to use my cultivation method of the Golden Gates of Old as well as allowing you to mount me!” The snake tried to regain some of its lost face.

Cheng Hao’s face though turned cold “You also are the one that said that Lord Tian was only as strong as me and urged me to fight him with a weaker cultivation base! You probably only did that to sleep for this thousand years, thousand years that I spent looking at the empty sky of the underworld! If it weren’t for that strange golden bead of light that I swallowed, I would have still been there wasting my death away!”

Recalling the starless sky and the cries of the agonizing souls, he couldn’t help but shudder and put his hand on his stomach, where the Golden Bead of Light was previously located. It had now been long consumed into his body.

“Mph, you are still thinking about such insignificant treasures while you have a first, no, top rate heavenly beast, a Golden Heavenly Devouring Dragon with you!”

“What heavenly dragon and dragon, you are just a B.A.S.T.A.R.D. S.N.A.K.E!”

“Aaa, Cheng Hao, you…!” The two started to brawl, they rolled on the ground as Cheng Hao tried to catch and squeeze the snake while it kept trying to bite with its small head a portion of exposed skin…

“Ahem!” At that, the duo immediately stopped their movements, Cheng Hao still holding the snake’s lower body with his left hand as the reptile bit with its tooth-less head the same hand, and turned to look towards the sound. A figure resembling that of a human was standing three meters behind them.

“Uhm… Are you ok buddy? You have been talking to yourself and said some really weird things… Something about a weird blood and a bastard snake…”

“I’m NOT a bastard snake!” Goldy yelled.

“Shut up! He can’t see you, let alone hear you! You are an Heavenly Beast, only those connected through Karma with you can notice you” Cheng Hao hissed.

The figure asked again “… So… are you ok?”

“He’s not! He’s a son of a b**** and an ugly bastard!”

“I told you to shut up Little Gold!”

“Ouch! Cheng Hao, let me go!”

“Uhm, should I come back later?”

The creature was a two meters tall humanoid Spirit Beast. It resembled a human but had the head similar to that of a rat, it wore some kind of leather armor and clutched a wooden club in his hands. Counting the fact that both the club and the armor were dirty with blood, its appearance wasn’t really pleasant to the eyes.

It apparently was supposed to be some kind of obstacle for the new disciples acceptance exam but seeing the way Cheng Hao was acting it was actually pondering whether the weird human in front of him would go crazy anyways before it even lifted a finger…

Author’s NoteRamblings: What to say, what to say… Oh yeah! From what I remember, the chapter’s length may vary from 1500 words to almost four thousands. It depends on the mood, I guess? Yeah, though I never go below the 1500.

That’s like getting a pack of chips, opening it and finding out it is not chips with some air, but air with some chips. And air is poisonus. I mean, look at all those people who breathed a few hundred years ago: they all died! Don’t eat air, children, don’t eat air…


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